


Avengers: Teambuilding

by Pheylan



Series: Avengers: Reassembled [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Modern Bucky Barnes, Multiple Pov, Rated M for Bucky's potty mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 20:13:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15032315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pheylan/pseuds/Pheylan
Summary: Director Nicolas Fury is a busy man.  He has a helicarrier to fix, a gap in personnel to fill, alien bodies and tech to collect, a World Security Council to chastise, and several governments to soothe.  The last thing he needs is for Coulson’s pet cyborg to come in complaining about how Captain America is being mishandled.  All right, fine, Agent Barnes.  You want to be The Other Man With a Plan then you’ve got it.  You are now handling Rogers until he integrates as a civilian or joins SHIELD - and it better be the latter.  Hill, get on the horn with HR and get him raised to Level 6.  You can handle his requisitions.  Now, get out of my office and get a damned haircut!





	1. Captain Steven Rogers - United States Army, Strategic Scientific Reserve

**Author's Note:**

> Follow up story to my Avengers: Reassembled piece. You might be able to read it as a stand alone, but you'll likely be confused by Bucky. 
> 
> Thank yous go out to the hubby who once again helped with my grammar and punctuation despite the fact that he doesn't do fan fiction.

Steve Rogers stood, tossed the book he’d been reading across the room, and then spun to punch the nearest wall.  The pain in his hand made him pause to stare at what he’d just hit. The wood paneling had shattered and his fist had left an impression on the dull grey material behind it.  As quickly as his temper had flared, it drained away leaving him weary.

Two weeks ago, he fought the Red Skull and then crashed his plane into the North Atlantic to save the world.    


Thirteen days ago, he woke up in a mock hospital room which he’d escaped from only to find that the world had jumped forward nearly 70 years.

Eight days ago, he was installed in a bland apartment, given money and books and told he’d be checked on.

Seven days ago, the director of SHIELD had walked in on him destroying a punching bag and recruited him to save the world - again.

Four days ago, SHIELD had relocated him to this cabin in the middle of nowhere to protect him from the press.

God, he was tired.  He’d had one good night’s sleep in the last two weeks and it had taken a fight against an alien invasion and having someone he felt he could trust at his back to make that happen.    


Steve sighed as he made himself go pick up the stupid book that he’d tossed.  He was not sorry to see that he’d broken it’s spine and damaged the cover. It was one of several history books that Dr. Williamson had left for him.  Very biased history books. Probably very wrong history books considering how badly they presented the Great Depression. 

He tossed the book onto the desk and then contemplated the kitchen area.  He hadn’t been hungry in over a day, which was probably a bad thing. Yet, he could not get up the energy to try to figure out how to prepare any of the food that was there.    


As he was considering laying down on the couch - not that he’d sleep, but he didn’t have the desire to do anything of use - the computer lit up and started beeping.  He turned back to the desk to see the screen flashing “Vehicle Approaching” in yellow letters. A moment later it stopped flashing and “Passcode Accepted” popped up in green about the same time that Steve could hear the whine of what he now recognized as a quinjet.

Slightly curious, he opened the door and stepped on to the porch in time to see the quinjet fly up to hover over the landing pad facing  him. After the wheels dropped down the ‘jet neatly pirouetted in place a full turn and a half to land with its tail end facing the cabin.  Steve raised his eyebrows at what appeared to be someone showing off. He stepped toward the landing pad as the back end opened up. Just as he reached the ramp a very welcome voice rang out.

“God damn it, Steve!  If you didn’t want to be my BFF you could have just told me instead of running off to the ass end of nowhere!”

Steve couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face as he stepped into the back of the quinjet to see Bucky Barnes opening up one of the storage compartments.

“Hi, Bucky!  What’s a BFF?” 

“Best Friend Forever,” he explained as he handed over a large plastic cube. Steve grabbed the handles at either end and watched as Bucky pulled out his go bag and a canvas tote while continuing to talk.   “Lucky for you I’m an obsessive fanboy and decided to ignore Williamson when he said that you were not my problem.” He turned back to Steve and studied him closely. “You look like shit. Have you been sleeping?”

“No,” replied Steve honestly.  “And I’m really,  _ really _ glad you ignored him.”

Bucky’s face lit up with a smile as he gestured for Steve to lead the way out of the hold.  “Sorry that it took so damned long to get out here. Let’s have some lunch and I’ll update you on the whole fucked up situation.”

Steve stepped out of the quinjet and led Bucky toward the cabin.  “I hope you can cook more than just breakfast, because I’m not sure how to prepare even half the stuff they left me with.”

“S’okay,” Bucky said looking around, “Lunch is in the cooler that you’re carrying.  I am aware of what SHIELD stocks the safe house kitchens with and taste is not something they consider when making decisions on food.”  He stopped on the porch and studied the building. “Well, this is fucking...quaint. What have you been doing for the last few days?”

Steve shrugged as he stepped through the doorway and walked over to set the cooler on the table.  “Running the perimeter and reading bad history books mostly. I’ve been debating hunting down a bear and wrestling it just for some variety.”

“Oh, that sounds like shitloads of fun!” Bucky enthused, dumping his go bag on the couch and then setting the canvas bag down by the table.  “But we have to do it shirtless. It’s more manly that way.”

Steve shook his head and grinned.  “So, what’s for lunch?”

“Well, I asked my ma: hypothetically, what would Steve Rogers consider comfort food?” he explained as he opened the cooler and started pulling out condiments, a couple of bottles of Coke, and a medium sized cloth covered cube.  “She didn’t buy the hypothetical part, but anyway, she suggested hot dogs.” He unzipped the cloth cube and presented Steve with several bags of food with a familiar name written on them.

“Nathan’s still exists?” he asked eagerly.

“Still exists and claims they have never changed their recipe,” Bucky confirmed pulling the bags of warm hot dogs and fries out and placing several on the table in front of Steve.  “I guess you’ll be able to verify that.” He popped the caps off the Cokes with his left thumb and set one beside the bags of hot dogs and fries for Steve. “The soda, however, will not taste like you expect.  Coke has definitely changed the formula. I gather it’s a fuck-ton sweeter than it used to be.”

Steve’s stomach rumbled as the familiar smell hit his nostrils.  He sat down and - after a quick tutorial on how modern squeeze bottles worked - loaded his hot dogs with relish and mustard and his fries with ketchup.  He closed his eyes as he chewed on the first bite and found that Bucky’s ma was right - he felt comfort. Memories of hanging out at Coney Island or Dodgers’ games with his best friend Arnie came up.  He could almost smell salt air and popcorn.

“ _ That _ is one happy fucking face!”

Steve opened his eyes to find Bucky looking at his phone.  He turned it so Steve could see the picture of himself. His hair was limp and there were dark circles under his eyes, but beside that he did look incredibly happy.    


“Mind if I send this to my Ma?” Bucky asked.

“No, that’s fine,” Steve said before taking another large bite of his lunch.

Bucky held the phone in his right hand and tapped at the screen with his thumb while simultaneously stabbing at his order of fries with the fork in his left hand.  “I’m letting her know that she was hypothetically correct.”

Steve nodded as he studied Bucky’s fries.  They were covered with some kind of thick brown sauce and what might have been cheese.  He swallowed his bite and asked, “What’s that on your fries?”

“These are chili cheese fries,” Bucky explained.  “Chili is a spicy stew from...I think Mexico, originally?  Usually made with meat, but you can also get vegetarian versions.”  Bucky stabbed a loaded fry and offered it to Steve. He took it and popped it in his mouth.

“Hm.  Pretty good,” Steve decided.  “But you don’t have any hot dogs.  Did you want any of these?”

“Nah, I don’t like them,” Bucky said, stuffing another forkful of the fries in his mouth.    


“What is wrong with you?” Steve said before his brain could stop the thought from escaping.

Bucky just grinned.  “My pop has been asking me that question since I was a toddler.”  His phone buzzed, so he picked it up and stared at the screen. His grin got bigger  “And Ma says: Hypothetical my ass. And he looks tired. Make Captain Hypothetical take a damned nap.”

“I think I’ve figured out where you got your potty mouth,” Steve said, picking his Coke up for a sip.

“At some point you are going to join me, Ma, and her dad to watch baseball.  Then you’ll  _ really _ understand my potty mouth,” Bucky stated setting his phone aside and shoveling in another forkful of fries.

“I’d love to,” Steve agreed enthusiastically around another mouthful of hot dog.  “I’m looking forward to seeing the Dodgers play again.”

“Oh, shit!” Bucky exclaimed, looking wide-eyed.  “No one told you!”

“What?”  The look of panic on  Bucky’s face set Steve on high alert.

“The fucking traitors moved to Los Angeles back in the ‘50s!”  Bucky exclaimed. “My grandpa refuses to watch Dodgers games.”

Steve sat there stunned for a moment.  “The filthy bums!”

“I know, right?”  Bucky agreed, waving his fork.  “I wasn’t even born yet and I’m offended!”

Steve shook his head and then aggressively tore into another hot dog.  “Please tell me aren’t a Yankees fan,” he requested.

“Oh, hell no,” Bucky assured him.  “We mostly stick to minor league. The Brooklyn Cyclones are our team.  Although, we will root for the Mets if they’re playing. They suck, but we root for them anyway.”  Bucky shrugged as he finished off his lunch then leaned back in his chair. “So, on to the important stuff.”

“Okay,” Steve said, stuffing the last of his own fries in his mouth.

“First off, you don’t have to worry about that asswipe Williamson sweeping in and hauling you off again.”  Bucky started, cleaning up their lunch debris. “I have been assigned as your official handler until either you decide you’re comfortable living without aid or you want to join SHIELD.  And I’m going to tell you upfront that part of my orders are to try to talk you into joining up, but I’m going to ignore them. If you are interested, I will tell you anything you want to know, because I really like my job and it’s a good place to work over all, but I’m not interested in pressuring you to do something you may not want.”

“Thanks, Buck,” Steve said as Bucky tossed the trash and then sat back at the table.  “So how did you manage all this?”

“Short version - Williamson told me to fuck off.  I instead hacked his SHIELD account, found out just how much he  _ wasn’t  _ doing to help you, and took it to Assistant Director Hill.  A day later I’m called in to a meeting with her, Director Fury, and Fuckface to talk this out.  There may have been some yelling. Anyway, Fury asked me what I’d do different, so I told him. He told me to run with it.  I got a level increase and a raise out of it, too, so it’s happy making all around,” Bucky explained, smirking at the last bit.

“Okay,” Steve said, taking it all in.  “So, what happens next?”

“Well, currently I’ve got one of our military liaisons talking to the Pentagon to see about getting you declared recovered.  Because you were never actually officially declared dead. And this is the easiest fucking way to get you reinstated as a person.”  Bucky took a long pull at his Coke.

“The history books all say - “

“Yeah,” Bucky interrupted, waving a hand.  “Folks make a big deal about Captain America dying for his country blah-de-fuckity-blah, but the reality is that the Army doesn’t like declaring a person dead unless they have an actual facts body.  Now, if a family requests that a person be declared dead and it’s a reasonable assumption, then they will. But you had no family to make that request.” Bucky grinned. “So, it boils down to the fact that you are officially Missing In Action and when the Army changes that to Recovered then you will receive all your back pay adjusted for any automatic promotions you received and inflation.  Agent Hernandez - that’s our guy - estimated that you are owed between six and eight million.”

“Six and eight million…?” Steve said slowly.

“Dollars, yes,” Bucky replied.  “Although, probably not all at once.  Most likely you’ll get it in several large payments.  I would suggest you talk to Stark about hooking you up with a trustworthy accountant and maybe finding someone to teach you about money management.”

Steve sat blinking at Bucky for a moment, trying to comprehend what the other man had just said.  “Bucky, I don’t think I’m worth- “

“Stop right there, Steve,” Bucky said sternly.  “You most definitely  _ did _ earn all this damned money.  You may not think that what you did was that big of a deal, but it totally was.  By taking out that asshole Red Skull, you sent Hydra into a tailspin, which meant that they couldn’t aid that fuckwad Hitler, which meant that the Allies were then able to take him down.  The US is not a fascist state because of your leadership and sacrifice. So, take the fucking money and accept that you are worthy.”

Steve waited a moment to make sure Bucky was done - as nice as the guy was, his serious face was down right scary.  He then took a deep breath and let it out. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Bucky asked suspiciously.

“For now.”

“Fair,” Bucky agreed, his face flipping from serious to smiling.  “Now onto the fun stuff.” He pulled the canvas tote bag into his lap and started rummaging around in it.  “First off, here’s your phone,” he said, handing the device to Steve. “I checked and the asshole apparently couldn’t get into it, because all the Avengers’ numbers are still in there.  I did add my Ma’s number, because I figure you’ll like having access to a history teacher.”

“And if Williamson couldn’t get into it, how did you?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

Bucky smirked.  “Don’t use your Ma’s birthday as a password.  And we will be talking about security on your electronics at some point pretty fucking soon.”  He reached into the bag again and pulled out a couple of books. “These are the texts my Ma uses for her basic US and World history classes.  They just came out with a new editions, so she said you can have her old ones. If you have questions about anything you read, feel free to call Ma for answers.”  He then pulled out a tablet. “This is the one that you were using before. I’ve added a couple of things.” He turned on the tablet and directed Steve to a folder labeled ‘History Materials.’ “Ma hands out a further reading list to her freshman classes to go with the textbooks which I’ve put in here.  It’s broken down by subject, so if there is anything you want to expand your knowledge on, you have a list of reliable books. I’ve also downloaded the book Ma co-wrote with Arnie Roth about you. It’s called  _ Steve Rogers vs. Captain America _ and is about how your alter ego’s image has been used over the years and what your likely response to the various uses of it would have been.  I’ve included it because I think it’s a good way for you to get a handle on how people are going to view you. And I’ll warn you now, you’re not going to like a lot of it.”

“Good to know,” Steve said, taking the tablet, turning it off, and setting it to one side.

“Okay, next.”  Bucky reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a small notebook and a pen.  He handed them over to Steve. “When I’d come back from deployment, everybody and their fucking dog would be trying to catch me up on the pop culture I missed - books, movies, music, what have you - so I took to keeping a list.  I kept mine on my phone, but I thought you would be more comfortable with pen and paper, at least for now. I took the liberty of starting the list.”

Steve opened the book to see three lines:

Movie - The Princess Bride  
Book - Good Omens  
Music - The Beatles (band) Rubber Soul (album)

“These are some of my favorites that I think you can grasp without a shit ton of background explanations,” Bucky said.  “But don’t stress over this list. You are likely never going to be able to get to everything that people say you must experience.  Get to what you can and let the rest slide.” 

He pulled one more thing out of the bag and placed it in front of Steve.  It was a box wrapped in brightly colored paper that said ‘Happy Birthday’ all over it.  Steve raised his eyebrows and gave Bucky a look. “My birthday isn’t until July.”

“Or, you’ve missed 68 of them,” Bucky replied.  “This is from me to you, because you should have something that is just for fun.”

“You didn’t - “

“Steve.”  Damn, the guy could glower.  “The phrase you’re looking for is ‘Thank you, Bucky. That’s fucking thoughtful of you.’”

Steve couldn’t help but smile.  “Thank you, Bucky. That’s fucking thoughtful of you.”

“You’re welcome,” Bucky replied, his entire demeanor changing with a grin. He gestured to the box.  “Now open it!”

Steve rolled his eyes and carefully unwrapped the present.  He opened the box and pulled the items out one at a time - a nice Moleskine sketchbook, a box of charcoals, a set of color pencils, and a booklet on color theory.  “Bucky...this is...this is really nice! Thank you!”

Bucky’s smile widened.  “I know you were in art school before the war, but seeing as you were colorblind, I expect you never really got to fuck around with colors.  So, the booklet will give you some ideas about how they are used and you can experiment from there.”

“You’re right about color,” Steve agreed.  He looked up from his present and gave Bucky a matching smile.  “I promise that I’ll use this. It means a lot.”

“Awesome.”  Bucky tossed the now empty tote bag onto the couch and then stretched.  “Okay, so. I have a Skype meeting with my therapist in about 20 minutes.  Skype is like a phone call, but with video and done on the computer. While I do that I suggest that you try to get a nap in and afterwards we’ll blow this shit-stand.”

“Heading back to Brooklyn?” Steve asked, rising from the table.

“Not at the moment,” Bucky responded, reaching for his go bag.  “For all he was a piece of shit, Williamson was correct that you need to be shielded from the press, at least until the Army is ready to reveal that you’re alive.  So, instead of heading back to the city, we’re going to another place that is out in bum-fuck nowhere. But at least this time there will be other people. We’re going to hang out at Clint’s farm.”


	2. Special Agent Clinton Barton - SHIELD

“Hey, Sweet Cheeks!”

Clint Barton tossed the last of the wood he’d been carrying next to the fire pit and then grinned as he turned toward his house.  His wife, Laura, stood on the back porch. “Yeah, Babe-a-licious?”

“Bucky just called,” she replied.  “He says they’ll be here in about 15.  Would you go open the barn?”

“On it!”  Clint replied blowing her a kiss.  He then headed toward the larger of their two barns.  His one-eyed yellow labrador jumped up from where he’d been rolling in the grass to follow.  “Hey, Lucky! Your Frisbee buddy is on his way.”

Lucky barked and ran happy circles around Clint as they walked to the barn.  Clint smiled at the dog even as he wondered if Bucky would be able to coax him into playing Frisbee this time.  Lucky was not a therapy dog, but he did tend to instinctively stick close to whichever of the Barton clan was having a bad day.  He hadn’t left Clint’s side for much in the last four.

Clint stepped through the people sized door to the right of the big barn doors and turned to hit a nearby switch.  Slowly, the roof cracked down the middle and opened up, letting the early afternoon sun light up the interior. The quinjet that he and Natasha had flown in on was tucked up near the front of the barn and there was just enough room for a second small quinjet to park in the back.  Clint sat down on a bench by the wall and Lucky immediately came up to lay his head in Clint’s lap. He pet the dog while waiting for his teammate. 

A few minutes later a weak shadow and muffled whine alerted Clint to the fact that a stealthed out quinjet was hovering over the barn.  He stood as stealth mode was turned off and the ‘jet touched down neatly into the space available. The rear of the vehicle opened as he walked up so he stepped inside.

“Clint!” was all the warning he got before being wrapped up in a Bucky Bearhug.  Despite his hard body and even harder left arm, Bucky gave some of the best hugs.  Clint brought his own arms up to hug back. After a few seconds Bucky let go to step back and study him.  “You look a hell of a lot better than I expected.”

“Thanks, Mom” Clint replied dryly.  “I have actually been taking care of myself.  Because, you know, I am actually a grown up.”

“Or you’ve been taking care of yourself because Laura makes you,” Bucky said with a grin.  He turned to open the storage compartment while Clint rolled his eyes.

“How was the flight, Cap?” he asked, extending his hand.

“Fun!” Cap proclaimed, taking the proffered hand for a shake.  “I don’t know why Coulson said that Bucky was a bad pilot.”

“He didn’t say I was a bad pilot,” Bucky contradicted as he handed Steve his duffel bag.  “He said no one wanted to ride in a vehicle that I was piloting.”

Clint chuckled even as he felt a pang in his heart over Coulson.  He explained to the Captain, “Bucky is actually a very good pilot.  However, he is also an adrenaline junky with enhanced reflexes and cognition.  So, if you put him in charge of anything that is supposed to be high performance, he is going to want to push it to the limit.  And to the unenhanced, which covers...oh...almost everyone else on the planet, it becomes a very scary, albeit safe ride.”

Bucky smirked as he handed Clint a large plastic tub.  “Here, carry this. Laura asked me to pick up a few things.”

“What kind of things?” Clint asked, taking the tub.

“Food stuff mostly,” Bucky answered as he leaned back into the storage locker.  “Said if she was feeding two super soldiers for a few days, SHIELD could damn well pay for it.”  He straightened up with what looked like a cymbal case in his hands. A very large cymbal. “Here, Steve.  You might want this.”

“Is that…?” Cap took the case and unzipped it enough to reveal the edge of his shield.  “Gee, thanks, Bucky! I wasn’t sure if I’d be getting it back.”

“Well, I don’t know who it belongs to legally,” Bucky said as he shouldered his own duffel.  “But Hill handed it to me before I left New York, so I’m pretty sure SHIELD considers it yours.”

The three men stepped out of the quinjet to where Lucky was waiting patiently.  Bucky immediately knelt down to enthusiastically greet the dog. For his part, Lucky was more than happy to cover Bucky’s hands and face in dog slobber before taking up his position beside Clint again.  Bucky raised an eyebrow at Clint as he stood back up. Clint just shrugged. “Yet another reason that I’m doing better than you expected.”

They had managed to get a couple of feet away from the barn when twin cries of “Uncle Bucky!” rang out.  Clint watched fondly as Bucky dropped his bag and scooped up the two kids into another hug. However, once he released them, the kids did not release him.  Cooper latched onto the metal arm and Lila started climbing up onto his shoulders.

“Kids!  Uncle Bucky is not a jungle gym!” Clint admonished.

“Yes, he is,” Lila contradicted.  Bucky just laughed.

“Yeah, no.  Climb down off of him and come here.  I have someone I want you to meet.”

Cooper let go and walked over obediently, but Lila let out a huff and rolled her eyes before jumping off Bucky’s shoulders.    


“Guys, I’d like you to meet Captain Rogers.  Cap, these are my kids Cooper and Lila.”

Lila gave a perfunctory greeting before going back to hold Bucky’s hand and start babbling to him about chickens.  Cooper, however, just narrowed his eyes and studied Cap. 

“You’re Captain America,” he finally said.    


“Sometimes,” Cap admitted.  “But most of the time I’m just Steve.”

“Did Uncle Phil get to met you before he died?” Cooper asked.

“Uh, yes,” Cap replied uncomfortably.

“Good.”  Cooper nodded soberly.  He thought a moment as they started walking toward the house again.  “Did you bring the shield?”

“Yeah,” Cap said, hefting the case.  “Do you want to carry it for me?”

Cooper’s eyes nearly bugged out of his face.  He nodded and then took the case reverently. Clint couldn’t help but smile.  Lila had never gotten into Captain America, but Cooper had eaten up every story that Phil and Bucky could find.  He had all of Phil’s old comics and several of the action figures. Hopefully, he wouldn’t make Cap too uncomfortable.     


The group entered the house through the kitchen door.  Laura was at the sink washing her hands and Natasha was seated at the table, prepping vegetables to be grilled.

“Aw, Nat!  Look at you being all domestic,” Bucky teased as he dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

Nat rolled her eyes.  “I will gut you.”

“Eh,” Bucky said with a shrug.  “I’ll live.” 

He turned to Laura and swept her up into a hug.  “How’s the boss lady?”

“Doing well,” she replied, hugging back.

Clint set the tub he was carrying down on the floor next to them.  Once the hug was over he waved at Cap. “Laura, I’d like you to meet Captain Steve Rogers.  Cap, this is my wife Laura Barton.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Captain,” Laura said extending her hand.

“Nice to meet you, ma’am,” Cap responded as he shook her hand.  “But you can just call me Steve.”

“In that case I’m Laura.”  She studied him for a minute.  “Okay, this is probably weird, but can I hug you?  You look like you need a Mom hug.”

“Uh, okay,”  Cap replied in surprise.

Laura wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a long warm hug.  Cap almost immediately closed his eyes and leaned into her. Clint was struck as he watched with how young Cap looked at that moment.  It dawned on him that, not counting the time on ice, he was probably the youngest adult in the room. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly after Laura released him.

“Your welcome,” she replied patting his arm.  “And don’t you worry about a thing while you’re here.  We’ll have you well fed and rested up in no time.”

“Now you’re in for it,” Natasha teased.  “Between Laura and Bucky, you’re about to be seriously coddled.”

“Nothing wrong with a little coddling,” Bucky stated trying to ruffle her hair.  She bat his hand away with a glare. He laughed before asking, “So, is Steve bunking down with me?”

“Yes,” Clint replied.  “And I need to set up the air mattress in your room for Dr. Banner, too.”

“So, he and Stark are coming?” Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I talked to Pepper about half an hour ago,” Natasha responded.  “She said they were in route. Should be here soon.”

“We having a party?” Cap asked.

“Sorta,” Clint said, leaning against the kitchen counter.  “Coulson is not going to have a funeral. Like a lot of SHIELD agents, he has no family, so he donated his body to the science department.  We’re going to grill up some food and have a nice little picnic. Then after, we’ll build a bonfire and sit around telling stories about him as a memorial.  You don’t have to join us for that part, but he’d have loved it if you felt like hanging around while we talk.”

“No, I’d like to join you,” Cap said sincerely.  “I’d like to know what he was like when he wasn’t overwhelmed by Captain America.”

Bucky chuckled.  “He was fucking awesome - “

“Swear jar!”  The kids chimed in unison.

Bucky dropped his shoulders and hung his head.  “Damn it!”

“That’s TWO dollars,” Cooper claimed smugly.

“Yeah, yeah.”  He pulled his wallet out and handed Cooper a twenty.  “That should last me a few days.”

“Might last you ‘til bedtime,” Cooper stated, taking the money.

“Sass!”  Bucky cried.  Looking up at Clint he asked,  “Where did the sass come from?”

Clint pointed to his wife at the same time that Laura said, “Have you _ met _ my husband?”

“Right.  Come on Steve.  I’ll show you to the bachelor pad,” Bucky said, shouldering his bag.

As they headed upstairs with the kids trailing behind, Clint turned to Laura with an expectant grin.  Once Cap was out of sight she went from welcoming mother to super fangirl. Whispering excitedly she said, “That’s Captain America!”

“I know!” Clint whispered back.

“Captain America is staying in our house!”

“I know!” Clint said a little louder.

“So, did you move Coulson’s sheets to Cooper’s bed?” Natasha asked as she turned back to her vegetable prep.

Clint could feel the blood draining out of his face as he saw the look of horror dawning on Laura’s.    


“Shit!”  Clint spun around and flew up the two flights of stairs to the attic room that Coulson and Bucky shared whenever they came out to visit.  He was too late. As he entered Cap turned from where he was studying the Captain America bedding to raise questioning eyebrows at Clint. 

“Okay, this looks bad,” he started as Bucky broke into giggles.  “We bought the bedding as a joke for Coulson a couple of years ago!  But he decided to keep it. I’ll get some normal sheets and we’ll move this to Cooper’s room.”

“Yes!” Cooper said at the same time that Bucky called out “Hell, no!” and threw himself into the middle of the bed.    


“Uncle Bucky!” Cooper exclaimed, pulling out his best pout.

“Mine!”  Bucky said, grabbing the red, white, and blue throw pillow.  “I’ve wanted this set since your folks gave it to Coulson, so I’m claiming it.  Steve can sleep on the boring blues sheets.”

Cooper huffed at him, but Bucky just stuck his tongue out at the boy.

“Did anyone warn you that Bucky actually a kid trapped in a super soldier body?” Clint asked Cap.

“No, but I’m starting to get that impression,” Cap replied with a smile.

Bucky grinned at them a moment and then suddenly sat up and did what Natasha called his meerkat impression - chin up and alert as he listened to something.

“What?” Clint asked.

“Powerful engine,” Bucky replied tilting his head.  “Like a high dollar car.”

“Sounds like the last of the team is here, then,” Clint said.  “Shall we head down?”


	3. Bruce Banner, Ph. D. (several)

Bruce Banner had just finished the last of his potato salad when a plate of cookies hit the picnic table next to him and Agent Barnes took a seat on the bench.

“Snickerdoodle?” Barnes asked, pushing the plate towards him.

“Thanks.”  Bruce took one and bit into it.  “Oh, this is really good!”

“Ma’s secret recipe,” Barnes said, biting into his own cookie.  Somehow he managed to eat and continue talking without spewing cookie crumbs.  “Someday I’ll get it, but I haven’t completed the quest yet.”

“Quest?” Bruce asked, raising his eyebrows.  “For a recipe?”

“Well...sorta?” Barnes said, stuffing the rest of the cookie in his mouth.  “Ma will hand over her recipe book to whichever of her spawn - there are four of us - completes a list of things she’s posted on her refrigerator.  I’m winning so far. Also, I think I can get brownie points if I get Steve to call her. So.” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

“I suppose that’s one way to make sure the recipe stays secret,” Bruce conceded, taking another cookie.

“So, will you be joining us for the memorial bonfire?” Barnes inquired.  “Seeing as I don’t think you actually met Phil Coulson.”

“Not formally,” Bruce admitted.  “But Pepper asked me to join in for Tony’s sake.  She said that he doesn’t do emotions, but might feel more comfortable with another scientist around.”

“Doesn’t do emotions,” Barnes huffed.  “From what I can tell, he lives by his emotions.  But whatever. We will be happy to have you.” Barnes smiled at him.  “Steve is sticking around for it, too, and he only ever got to see Fanboy Phil. You’ll not be the odd man out.”

“Good to know.”  Bruce eyed the cookies and wondered if he could get away with taking another.  Considering how hungry he could be after the Other Guy came out, he could see where Agent Barnes might need all the calories all the time.  Barnes must have seen him eyeing the plate, because he nudged it closer.

“So, would you be okay with me putting on my work hat for about ten minutes?” Barnes asked.  “I want to be able to tell the Director with a clear conscience that I followed orders...Mostly.”

“Ten minutes?” Bruce asked skeptically. 

“Ish,” Barnes responded, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah, let’s get it out of the way,” Bruce agreed with a rueful grin before taking a bite out of his latest cookie.

To Bruce’s amusement Agent Barnes brushed his hair back with his flesh hand and then mimed putting on a hat with the metal one.

“Okay,” he stated seriously.  “First thing - Obviously, SHIELD has been keeping tabs on you.  This started shortly after the Harlem Incident as it was determined that a power hungry asshat like Thunderbolt Ross shouldn’t have access to someone like Hulk.  We kept him misdirected as to where you disappeared to and we will continue to run interference, because, if anything, he’s getting worse with the power trips. This will happen regardless of whatever decision you make about your future.”

“Thanks,” Bruce replied.  “That actually eases my mind a bit.”

Barnes smiled.  “And the less tension you live with the better for everyone.”  He bit another cookie in half before continuing. “Okay, so, SHIELD has come up with three possible scenarios for what happens next.  We will, of course, listen to any other ideas you come up with, but I think we pretty much cover all bases with the three.”

Bruce raised his eyebrows.  “Well...that...sounds a little ominous, but go ahead.”

“One - and this is admittedly Fury’s favorite option - you join SHIELD.  Mostly to teach at our science academy, but for other things as well. Upside - you get a steady paycheck, housing, and get back to teaching.  Downside - you do have to follow SHIELD’s rules and there is a good chance you’ll be pressured into doing super soldier research. Also, some people are likely to start thinking that the best solution to a problem will be to bring Hulk out.”

“As nice as it would be to teach again, I think I can go ahead and say no to this option,”  Bruce stated firmly.

Barnes shrugged good naturedly.  “I kinda figured. Option two - we make you a consultant like Tony.  Upside - you get a monthly stipend and a phone. We only bug you if we actually need you and you have access to us if there is an emergency.  Downside - you don’t get all the cool benefits and if you turn us down too many times the stipend stops.”

“But I would be able to turn things down if I didn’t like what SHIELD wanted me to do?”  Bruce queried. At Barnes’ nod he hummed to himself. “That might actually be a reasonable offer.”

“I personally think it’s the best offer for you, but don’t tell Fury that,” Barnes confided.  “Option three is we go back to the way things were before - SHIELD keeps an eye on you and you ignore the fact that we’re tracking you.  Upside - no strings on you. Downside - you already know SHIELD will swoop in asking for your help even without the consultant’s contract or the money.”

“Yeah,” Bruce conceded.  After a moment of thought he asked, “Am I going to get paid anything for helping stop an alien invasion?”

“Tell me your hourly rate and I’ll see what I can do,” Agent Barnes replied seriously.  “Look, I’ve got a contract for you upstairs for the consultant position. Read it over, discuss it with Tony, run it by a lawyer, whatever.  I think it’s pretty fair and I have some leeway for tweaking it if there are things you want changed. You don’t have to make a decision immediately.”

“I’ll look at it,” Bruce decided as Tony sat down opposite them.

“Look at what?” Tony jumped in.  “Is SHIELD trying to steal you from me?” He turned his attention to Barnes.  “Are you trying to steal him? You can’t have him. I licked him; he’s mine.”

Bruce huffed out a laugh and shook his head as Barnes assured Tony that he was not planning on breaking up their science bromance.  Before the conversation could go further, Clint’s daughter appeared, jumping up onto Barnes’ back.

“Uncle Bucky you have to come help!”

“Help what, Lila?” he asked, reaching behind himself to settle her into a piggy back position.

“We’re going to play Frisbee and Cooper got Captain Steve for his team, so you have to be on mine!”  She replied earnestly.

“I see.”  He directed his attention back to the men at the table.  “Duty calls, gentlemen. I must go school Captain America.”  He pushed the plate with the last cookie over to Tony. “Talk to Bruce about the SHIELD consultant gig.  I think it might be a good fit for him, but doesn’t hurt to have an opinion from someone who’s actually consulting for us.”  He stood while Lila scrambled up to sit on his shoulders and the two headed off. 

Tony ate his cookie as Bruce pondered the options.  He finally asked, “Do you think Barnes will stick to his promises?”

“Well,” Tony said with a considering look on his face.  “Dad used to go on about what a good judge of character Steve Rogers was and Rogers has imprinted on Barnes like a duckling, so probably.  Or at least as far as he can without Fury stepping in.”

“Rogers judged you rather negatively at first,”  Bruce pointed out.

“Yeah, well.”  Tony shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed.  “I think maybe being lost in a new century and having the Glow Stick of Destiny messing with our heads might have been a big factor in that.  He did sincerely apologize when we had the big Asgardian send off...That was a really good cookie. I want another one. Do you want another cookie?  Let’s go hunt down more cookies.”

“Barnes said his mom made them,” Bruce offered as he stood, willing to let Tony change the subject.  Obviously he had a lot to unpack when it came to his emotions concerning Steve Rogers.

“Think I could buy the recipe off her?” Tony asked, falling in step.

“I understand that in order to get the recipe, you have to complete a quest.”


	4. Anthony Stark - genius, billionaire, philanthropist, playboy

Tony Stark grunted partially awake.  He rolled over to wrap himself around Pepper Potts and nuzzle into her hair.  It smelled of wood smoke, which made him think of his favorite scotch. Smiling, he started to drift off again only to be assaulted by the noise that had awakened him once more.

“Wha’ da fu’ wuzzat?” he mumbled.

“A rooster,” Pepper responded, sounding amused and decidedly more awake then he did.

Tony blinked a couple of times and frowned into Pepper’s hair.

“That doesn’t sound anything like ‘cock-a-doodle-do,’” he stated.

“No,” she agreed.  “But it was still a rooster.”

“Huh,” he huffed.  A second sound broke the morning’s stillness.  “Donkey?”

“Yep.”

“Holy crap, I didn’t realize this was a real farm,” Tony grouched, closing his eyes and trying to burrow into Pepper.

“Totally a real farm,” Pepper insisted.  She stretched despite the grumbling it set off.  “And I think I’m going to get up and explore the possibilities of that huge claw-foot tub in the next room.”

“Nooooo!” Tony whined as she pulled away from him and got up.  “Sleep in!”

The rooster crowed again, which elicited a great sigh from Tony.  He opened his eyes again and pushed himself up to sitting in time to see Pepper gather her things for her morning ablutions. 

“Waking up?” she asked him with a smile.

“Mm,” he grunted out.  “Maybe I can find coffee.”

“You do that,” Pepper said, leaning in to kiss his forehead.  “You’re much easier to deal with after the first cup of the day.”

Tony grumbled some more as she left the room, but then cut it off lacking an audience.  After a couple of minutes he got out of the bed and poked at the clothes he’d worn the day before until he found his T-shirt.  He pulled it on and then examined himself in the dresser mirror. Only a slight glow through the shirt from the arc reactor and the sleep pants were a heavy flannel.  He combed his fingers through his hair a couple of times and then shrugged at his reflection. Good enough to be seen in public he decided and then exited the room in search of caffeine.

He picked up the scent of his target halfway down the stairs and followed it into the kitchen.  Cap, fully dressed and seated facing the hallway, appeared to be sketching. Barnes, in a tank and sweatpants, was sitting with his back to the door that Tony came through, hunched up over something on the table.    


Cap looked up and smiled as Tony walked in.  “Morning.”

“Muh,” Tony replied. “Coffee.”

“On the counter,” Barnes stated, nodding in the direction of a industrial three carafe coffee maker.  “It’s all caffeinated; the Bartons don’t believe in decaf. Sugar in the canister next to the machine, milk in the fridge, coffee cups in the cabinet above.  Do  _ not _ grab the purple one with the H on it.  That was a Father’s Day gift and Lila gets put out if you use it.”

“Sounds like the voice of experience,” Tony mumbled as he opened the cabinet.  He could see why he was warned off as the mug was at least twice as big as any of the rest.  He grabbed one of the others at random and filled it from the half empty carafe.

“You have not lived until you’ve been bitched out by a three and a half year old,” Bucky said sardonically.

“Swear jar!”  Tony and Cap said in unison.  They looked at each other and grinned.

“Fuck you both,” Barnes groused.  “The kids are in the barn, so I can swear all I want to.”

After a long pull at his too hot coffee Tony asked, “Why are the kids in the barn?” He took a seat at the table, only then realizing that what Barnes was hunched over was his own left arm.  The plates on the forearm and wrist were open and he was using a small brush to carefully dab lubricant on the inner workings.

“Because it’s a farm and everyone gets up way too fucking early to feed the animals, and gather eggs, and milk goats,” Bucky answered, looking up from his work.  “Whatever you do, do not let Clint convince you to milk a goat. They are evil bastards.”

“If you tried to milk me with a metal hand, I’d kick you in the face, too,” Romanov stated as she entered the room and headed to the coffee maker.

“I was wearing a glove!” Barnes protested. “Kid leather!”

“Yeah, I don’t think there is any chance that I’ll be tempted into helping with farm things,” Tony said, leaning in further toward Barnes’ open arm.

“I’m with you on that,” Cap said.  “Who wants pancakes?”

“Two please,” Romanov replied.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Tony said a bit distractedly.

Barnes put the brush down and then gently pushed Tony back with a smirk.  “Getting a little fresh there, Tony.”

“Sorry,” he said, knowing that he didn’t sound at all sorry.  “I’m a technotrope. I automatically lean in the direction of the highest tech in the room.  Although, normally it’s mine.”

“Figured.”  Barnes grinned as he opened the laptop that had been sitting at the table and tapped the screen a couple of times before turning it toward Tony.  “FitzSimmons did an in depth study of the arm shortly after I joined SHIELD. Here - schematics and notes.”

“Really?” Tony asked, perking up and pulling the laptop closer.    


“Why the hell not?” Bucky grinned as he returned to working on his arm.  “I might even let you play with the real deal, if you can come up with a way to make it lighter.  Or, you know, add shoulder rockets.”

“Challenge accepted,” Tony said absently as he started going through the file.

He quickly figure out that FitzSimmons were actually two people - Fitz working on the tech side and Simmons working on the biology side.  At some point while he studied the data, Cap put a plate of pancakes beside the laptop and he ate them without really paying attention to it.  He only came out of his tech haze when someone leaned over the back of his chair.

“Who has the patent on this?” Bruce asked.

“SHIELD was unable to find one,” Romanov answered.  “Although, Fitz is pretty sure large portions of it were stolen.”

Tony blinked and looked up to see that Bruce and Pepper had joined them while he was reading.    


“They were,” Tony confirmed.  “I can see bits here that are definitely from a remote bomb disposal robot that I made and I’m pretty sure some of the crappier stuff that Fitz has already replaced was Hammertech.  I  _ think _ some of the biotech is Oscorp, but it’s not really my field.  However, whoever put this together was thinking outside the box.  Oscorp is the only one of us working on prosthetics and I don’t think they have anything even remotely as complex as this arm.  Any idea who it was?”

“Yeah,” Barnes grunted as his arm plates snapped closed.  “The bodies we were able to identify in the operating room where they put the damned thing on me were mostly guys with degrees in biotech engineering.  So, sorry. You don’t get to pick their brains.”

“Ah.”  Tony nodded.  Before he could ask his next question, though, the Barton clan (plus dog) entered the building.  In the ruckus that followed, Barnes quickly packed up his tools and stood up from the table.

“Hey, Tony,” he said.  “You want to give me a hand?  There’s a twinge in my shoulder that I’m pretty sure is due to a loose wire and it’d be easier to have someone else fix it than try to do it myself using mirrors.”

“On it!” Tony grabbed the laptop and followed Barnes into the living room.  They quickly situated themselves on the couch and then the plates on Barnes’ shoulder popped open.

“How do you do that?” Tony asked as he pulled up the corresponding schematics on the laptop and then started digging through the toolkit.    


“Fuck if I know,” Bucky admitted.  “The arm was opened manually several times to be studied and worked on and then one day I just did it myself.  Kinda like writing or making a fist - I don’t think it through, just want to do it.”

“Huh,” Tony grunted while leaning in with a small flashlight.  “So, it was probably designed to do that and not just the super serum doing weird things to your brain.”

“Possibly. Or maybe both.”

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes while Tony found the wire that did appear to be loose and started tracking down where.

“So, have you talked to Colonel Rhodes since the fight in Manhattan?” Bucky queried.

“No, I think the military has him doing something,” Tony replied.  “Why do you ask?”

“I was kind of hoping he’d be on the team, too,” Bucky explained.  “But apparently the Air Force refused when Fury asked for him. Having another heavy hitting flyer would have been nice.  Not to mention that he’d have made a hella good team lead, if Steve needed more time to recover.”

“How would you know that?” Tony had found the wonky connection and started working on tightening it.

“My specialty is hostage rescue,” Bucky said, grinning over his shoulder at Tony.  “And not the ‘let’s negotiate a release’ step, but the ‘everything’s gone tits up and we need to get those people out’ step.  SHIELD sent me in to help when you were taken. It would have been my second mission for them, but then you went and decided to be a self-rescuing princess.  Col. Rhodes wasn’t too damn happy about my being there, but, between me being recently released from the Army and me not even trying to take over the search itself, he finally decided I was okay.”

“How come I never saw you?” Tony asked as he put his tools away.

Barnes snapped the panels on his arm shut and then shrugged.  “They didn’t need me to get you out. I offered to do the debrief for SHIELD, but someone above my pay-grade made the decision that I’d be too scary for a traumatized billionaire to deal with.  In retrospect, we now know you’d have been more likely to talk to the cyborg than to the pencil pusher.”

“Might not have talked to you either,” Tony stated with a smirk.  “But if you were flashing your arm about, it would have been more likely.”

“Hey, you’ve seen my uniform -”

Barnes was interrupted by Clint coming into the room and jumping over the back of the sofa to land beside Tony.  “Bucky you need to see this,” he stated as he turned on the TV and then used a nearby Starkpad to pull up the Daily Bugle website on the screen. The rest of the Avengers plus Pepper followed Clint into the room.

“I don’t get it,” Pepper was saying.  “Ben Urich has always been good about contacting us to verify information on Iron Man.  I can’t believe he’d publish this without talking to Bucky first.”

The headline on the screen read “Avenger Unmasked!”  Underneath were two photos. The first picture was probably from a cell phone zoomed in as far as it would go.  It showed the Winter Soldier from the waist up shooting one of the Chitauri weapons at something above and to the left of the photographer.  Tony had to admit it was a pretty good photo despite the graininess. Barnes’ metal arm was nicely displayed and somehow his hair was blowing dramatically.  He looked pretty badass. The second picture was also waist up, but this time he was smiling directly at the camera while wearing a tank top that also nicely displayed his metal arm.  And his hair was still blowing dramatically. But then Tony’s attention was caught by the fact that the tank top was lavender with Pride spelled across the chest in rainbow letters.

“They doubly outed you,” Tony remarked, glancing over at Barnes.

Barnes shrugged nonchalantly then asked Clint to scroll down so he could read the article.  Tony read along as behind them Pepper and Natasha talked PR stuff. It was a very positive article, talking about Barnes being an Army Ranger and POW prior to joining SHIELD where he was well known for his abilities at hostage rescue.  Nothing was said about his sexuality despite the photo they used at the top of the page. 

“I’m going to call the legal team to see if there’s anything we can do about this,” Tony heard Pepper say as he finished up the article.

“No, wait,” Barnes told her.  “There’s no reason to bring lawyers into this.”

“Bucky,” Pepper said waving at the television.  “You’ve just been outed by a major news source. Not just who you are, but you sexuality.  There are going to be repercussions if we don’t take control of the story.”

“I already have control of the fucking story,” Barnes replied patiently.  “I’m the one who contacted Ben about doing it. And I’m the one who gave him the second picture.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Does Fury know you did that?” Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bucky shrugged.  “You know I’m an ‘ask forgiveness’ kind of guy.”

Tony was finding he had more in common with Barnes than he thought.  “So, why?” he asked.

“Because humans in groups are easily spooked by shit kept in the dark,” Barnes explained in a reasonable tone.  “You came out as Iron Man as soon as the media started talking about you and for the most part everyone treated it as just another fucking eccentricity.”  He waved a hand at Bruce. “The army, however, tried to cover up Hulk and instead of him being a hero for stopping the Abomination, he became the god damned monster that destroyed Harlem.”  Barnes looked around the room. “I’m not saying we all need to have our entire lives displayed, but it seems to me that giving the American public some information that starts us out with a positive spin will head off a lot of damned paranoia in the future.  And since I know SHIELD prefers the brick wall method to public relations, I figured I’d start the conversation myself.”

Pepper nodded thoughtfully.  “That’s actually a pretty smart move.  We should probably get the Iron Man PR team in on this, though.”

“I’m fine with that,” Barnes readily agreed.

“So, what’s this about your sexuality?” Cap asked.

Tony could see he wasn’t the only one who suddenly realized that Cap wouldn’t have recognized Barnes’ shirt.  Nor was he the only one to suddenly feel apprehensive about how Cap would respond to the answer to his question.

Except Barnes, apparently.  “I’m homosexual. Whenever you see Pride spelled out in rainbows or written across a rainbow field, it’s probably referring to Gay Pride.”

Cap glanced around the room and looked surprised at the lack of response from the rest of the team.  “And you’re okay with people knowing?”

“Oh, yeah,”  Bucky said waving a hand.  “It’s not illegal anymore. Most of the population is okay with folks being anything other than heterosexual these days.  I mean, there are still conservative assholes out there, but they are slowly dying off. Hell, the State of New York will even let me get legally married, although we haven’t made that a national right, yet.”

Rogers smiled,  “That’s great news!”

“Wait,” Tony said.  He pointed to Steve.  “You’re okay with the gay thing?”  He then pointed to Barnes. “And you knew that would be his reaction?”

“Tony,” Rogers answered patiently.  “It’s obvious that you dad told you a lot about Steve Rogers, Captain America.  But he never did learn much about Steve Rogers, Brooklynite.”

“Steve’s best friend growing up was Arnie Roth,” Barnes jumped in to explain.  “You may recognize that name as one of the movers and shakers of the New York gay community.  Steve and Arnie shared an apartment on the edge of the Brooklyn gayborhood for a few years before he started trying to join the army.”

“Gayborhood?” Steve questioned with a laugh.  “Yeah, I guess that describes the area.”

“Okay,” Pepper said taking control of the conversation.  “I’m going to contact the PR team about expanding to cover all Avenger information.  Bruce, Clint, and Natasha need to think about how much they want people to know. As Bucky said, it’s better to control the spin than let the public think your hiding something.  Steve - “

“We’ve got him covered,” Bucky interrupted.  “Currently, the Army is reviewing SHIELD’s information to determine if he’s who we say he is.  I’m sure they will come to the same conclusion we did, which means we’ll let them handle telling the press.”

Pepper nodded.  “Sounds like we have the beginning of a plan.”

“12% of one at least,” Tony commented, grinning at Pepper.


	5. Special Agent Natasha Romanov - SHIELD

Natasha Romanov looked up from the book she was reading when James joined her on the porch.  He sat in the rocking chair beside hers, kicked his feet up to rest on the porch rail, and then settled his laptop on his legs.  He nodded at her before taking a large bite out of the sandwich he’d been carrying in his other hand and turning on the computer.

“Did you get into Laura’s Nutella?” she asked him with a raised eyebrow.

“Do I fucking look suicidal?” James snarked back.  “I brought two large jars with me. I figured I’d leave the leftovers for Laura, but made the mistake of letting Steve try it.  We’ll likely be out by the end of the day.”

Natasha chuckled.  “So, where is your big blond shadow, anyway?”

“Phone,” James said around his second mouthful.  He swallowed before continuing. “After the PR discussion yesterday morning I texted Mom to give her permission to tell Arnie Roth who was in the Captain America outfit.  Asked her to give him my number if he wanted to talk to Steve. He called about an hour ago.”

Natasha raised both her eyebrows at that.  “Just how much forgiveness do you think you can get out of Fury?”

“Won’t need any damned forgiveness,” James stated after swallowing another bite of sandwich.  “This is just good tactics. A) When the critics and conspiracy theorists start claiming he’s a clone or a robot, we will have the word of a man who spent nearly two damned decades trying to keep Steve out of trouble to affirm that he is in fact the same little shit who wore the uniform originally.  B) Reconnecting Steve with someone he knew before will be good for him mentally and emotionally and also give him another resource for integrating into the 21st century.” 

Natasha allowed a bit of surprise to show on her face before she morphed it into a fond smile.

“What” James asked suspiciously.

“You’re even better at this than I thought you’d be,” she replied.  “I’m looking forward to you taking over as handler for STRIKE Team Delta.”

“Oh, that’s not gonna fucking happen,” James said, rolling his eyes and stuffing the last of his sandwich in his mouth.

“What makes you say that?” Natasha queried as she poked James’ calf with her toe.

“Because the most likely outcome is that Fury breaks up the damned team,” he replied, reaching out to poke her shoulder.  “Having the top specialists in one team was Coulson’s project. With him gone and us down to only three, I can’t see Fury keeping us together. Besides, there is a bit of a difference in stepping in to help Steve while SHIELD deals with the Chitauri fall out and handling a STRIKE team.”

“I’m going to have to disagree,” Natasha said.  “Having the top specialists on one team has proved to be a very successful project.  The other teams know exactly where to go when then need us. And we’re very flexible since we can work solo, as a team, or in various combinations.  Besides, Coulson was definitely grooming you to be a handler, which shows in how you’ve dealt with the whole Steve Rogers’ situation - you saw a problem, quickly came up with a good plan to resolve it, and presented it to the Director in such a way that all he had to do is okay it and go on to his next headache.  As to it just being the three of us, I doubt that will be for long. You know that Steve will be added to the team once he signs on with SHIELD.”

“There is no guarantee that he’ll sign on with SHIELD,” James countered.  “He may stay with the army.”

Natasha gave James her patented Don’t Be A Dumbass Look.  He met her gaze for a moment before looking away.

“Okay, yeah, he’s probably going to join SHIELD,” he admitted with a shrug.  “Steve is too hands on with his need to help people and he ranks too high in the damned Army now to be able to do that there.  Still doesn’t mean I’m going to be Delta’s fucking handler.”

“I’ll allow you to live in denial for now,” Natasha said, poking his calf again.  “But I’m reserving the right to be the first person to say ‘I told you so’ when it happens.”

James let out a tremendous sigh.  “Fine!” He focused back on his laptop and started scrolling through his email, so Natasha reopened her book.  She should have known the mother hen wasn’t done.

“So, how the hell is Natasha Romanov?” James finally asked.

She shrugged.  “Fine, why?”

“Why?” he asked, giving her his patented Do I Really Look Like a Dumbass face.  “Let’s see - you lost your mentor, had to fight against your brother, and got to be the target of a rampaging Hulk all in one day.  There is a possibility of emotional repercussions.”

She gave him a deadpan look.  “I have no emotions.”

“Right.  You’re an ice queen, I’m a crazy cyborg, and Clint’s a dumpster fire,” James said, putting on his murder face.  “I’m not talking about how we present ourselves to the rest of the fucking world; I’m asking about my friend Nat.”

She smiled at that, still not used to having friends.  “I’m actually doing okay,” She assured him. “Losing Coulson was hard, but the memorial fire actually helped with that.  And, yes, I had to fight against Clint, but I was also able to bring him back, so I’m good there, too.” She paused a moment to think.  “The Hulk part is a little harder. But having him on our team for the Chitauri fight helped. Did you notice that he smiled at me and called me Tough Girl just before he turned back into Bruce?”

“Shit, really?” James asked surprised.  “That must have happened while I was checking everyone for damage.  That’s fucking cool!”

“Yeah,” Natasha agreed.  “And I spent a little bit of time talking to Bruce yesterday before they left.  It was really nice to talk to someone who is obviously smarter than I am, but not trying to be smug about it.  I think we’re going to be friends.” She paused and glanced at James. “Also, he’s kinda hot in a rumpled professor sort of way.”

James gave her a wide eyed look, seemed to consider something, and then shrugged.  “Not my type, but, yeah, kinda hot.” He grinned at her. “Let me know if you need a wingman.”

“Will do,” she said, smiling at him fondly.  “And by the way, Clint might be the twin that I never had, but you’re doing a good job of being the older brother I never had.”

James looked shocked and then pleased.  “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Fuck, yeah! I can’t wait to embarrass you in front of your dates and then threaten them into behaving,” he said, grinning wide.

“Just what kind of shovel talk do you think you could give someone that _I_ decide to date?” Natasha asked skeptically. 

James gave her his best murder glare.  “If you break her heart, I won’t stop her when she decides to take you apart slowly with a knife.”

“Good answer,” she said with a grin.  “Now, when are we going shopping?”

“For….?”

“Suits.  If you’re going to be a handler, you’re going to need at least one good suit,” Natasha stated.  “I’ll take you to Coulson’s tailor. It’ll be fun!”

“I’m not getting out of this, am I,” James asked resignedly.

“Nope.”  Natasha studied him a moment.  “Also, you need a haircut.”

“I ain’t cutting my fuckin’ hair!”


	6. After credits scene - Director Margaret Carter - SHIELD, retired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Guest!

Peggy Carter was having a good brain day, so she took advantage of it to study footage of the Battle of New York.  Specifically, she was trying to figure out who they put in that ridiculous parody of a Captain America outfit. With the way he moved, she’d have figured it to be Coulson’s newest boy, except that he was there in his full Winter Soldier gear fighting beside the new Cap.  A polite knock at the door brought her head up to see the boy in question dressed in a nice suit, smiling at her. 

“Good morning, Director Carter.  I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Agent Barnes of SHIELD,”  he said brushing his shoulder length hair back from his face.  


“You’re one of Coulson’s kids,” she replied.  “The one with the silly name.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he confirmed, his smile getting bigger.  “Bucky Barnes.”

Peggy nodded and held up her tablet with a freeze frame of Captain America and the Winter Soldier side by side.  “Good. Tell me who the hell they put in this travesty of an outfit.”

“Someone you really want to see,” he said, reaching for something in the hallway.  Seconds later he was pulling Steve Rogers into the room.

“Steve?”

“It’s me, Peg,” he confirmed, ducking his head and hunching his shoulders in an all too familiar gesture.

Peggy took a deep breath to compose herself.  Then, drawing on decades of being a director and a mother, she put on her sternest face.    


“You’re late.”

**Author's Note:**

> I would just like to make it known that Bucky's opinion on goats was written months before Infinity War came out. They might also be based on my own (although I did not get kicked in the face.) 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr as Pheylan13 if you want to see how many times I can reblog Sebastian Stan's face in an afternoon. Sometimes there is even original content.
> 
> Kudos and comments give me life. I dare you to make me live forever.


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